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Love is every step
“What do you like to do when you are not working?” “I like to sit down,” tells us a giggling, hard-working amma (mother) of two. We are sitting around the fire in her dark Tibetan kitchen surrounded by cute little kids with wild hair and dark eyes.
Since we left Jumla, we alternate nights in our crappy, wet tent and home stays. Jumla is the gateway of the ‘Wild West’ of Nepal where less than 1% of trekkers go. Mountains are lower but authentic hospitality reaches its peak. Families, living with 3 generations under one mud roof welcome us, care for us, offer us pop-corn, unlimited tea and dal Baht, stares and gratefully accept any medication we carry along. Health care is practically none existent here. The Nepali phrasebook doesn’t help as most people speak Tibetan. We connect on a non-verbal level.
We ended the trekking with a visit to the fabulous 650m deep Phoksundo lake, possibly the most beautiful day of our journey. Don’t miss the non-Photoshopped pics below!
Near the end of this dream two things dominated our insights: our connection to each other and gratitude.
Our connection grew as profound as the lake, after four months of being buddies, walking for 96 days together, ascending more than 62.000 vertical meters (the same as climbing 7 times to the summit of Everest from sea level!). We learned even more about each other, witnessed mental breakdowns and shared magical moments. We allowed each other and ourselves to just be who we are. Love is every step.
As we make our last ascent, we feel so grateful for our healthy bodies, the mountains, the trees, Nepali people, our courage to follow our dreams and our parents for supporting us unconditionally.
And then the transition. We thought the hard part was over but we are stuck in a country-wide political strike, survived a sketchy mountain flight and spent the night at the residence of a Nepali colonel! (for the full story, you can write to us :-) )Gas will do 10 days of silent “internal trekking”, in a Vipassana meditation retreat in Kathmandu. Lau will spent 2 weeks in Chiang mai pampering her exhausted body and reconnecting with our loving community there. We fly together to Europe on 6 June.
So we did it! We achieved our dream but the journey continues. This trip showed us that we can do anything we want with our life. And while we write this blog we are already thinking about the next dreams. May we always have the guts to turn them into reality!
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Mindfulness in the mountains
Lau: This morning during a chocolate brownie breakfast in Pokhara, the pieces of the puzzle came together. Without knowing it, a girl in our guesthouse told me exactly what I needed to hear. During the last two weeks, we walked the stunning second part of the Annapurna circuit along alternative trails to avoid the newly constructed road. We finished by visiting the awesome Annapurna Base Camp. See the photos below for some impressions.
Despite the beauty around us, I noticed that at times my mind tended to wander off into the future. I sometimes felt worried, frustrated and desperate about all the ascents and descents that I still had to face. I felt sorry for myself. We learned that when you ascend, you need to be calm and strong, which I sometimes couldn’t be anymore.
At other times, it is the longer term future that made me feel restless. It stirs up the dust in my mind, like on the windy tracks that we followed in the world’s deepest gorge we walked through. What am I going to do with my gift of life? What will be my contribution? Which direction will I take? I always thought that one day, I’ll wake up and the dust will have settled and I’d have total clarity on what to do.
But I realized today what this girl said was so true: “Traveling without fixed plans, I make small steps and then I know something will happen that gives me enough clarity to make the next small step. I do not need to know the next 10 steps. Again, being in the present moment in the most important lesson. And I vow to live fully and spread love. Like Henry David Thoreau said so eloquently: “Sometimes I cannot afford to sacrifice the bloom of the present moment for work, either from the hand or the head”
Gaston: I learned so much from the Nepali and travelers about generosity. A quality that I’d like to further nurture in myself. Especially the many Israeli turned out to be beautiful people generous with their food, smiles and presence. We now practice consciously to be more generous, especially in terms of food and attention when these are limited. We like Jon Kabat-Zin statement: “In mindful generosity, there is no giver, no gift or recipient. It is only the universe rearranging itself”
So now what? We decided that after 85 trekking days, we still have juice! We’ll do one more 2-week trek in the most remote region of Nepal, Dolpo. Less than 1% of trekkers go here. For those who know, the movie “Caravan, Himalaya’ was shot here. It will be a rough camping trek, but we are ready for the adventure. More news in a few weeks! Love.
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A reminder of impermanence
The last 10 days we enjoyed the beautiful Annapurna circuit, moonlike valleys, comfortable lodges and crossing the famous Thorong La pass (5416m). One event deeply marked us deeply. We have thought about it a lot. This is what Laurence wrote in her diary on 11 of April, before crossing the pass.
“A Korean guy died today on the trail, 43 years old. He was laying there on the ground, motionless, lifeless. While he was coming down from the last stop before the pass he succumbed of acute mountain sickness 30 min before we got there. First time ever that I see a dead body. It was quite a shock to see him there. Sad but also peaceful. I was constantly thinking: I hope you find the way home. May you be in peace. May you be full of love.”
Later when I was walking up, I looked at my feet and legs and I remembered his lifeless legs. Just a body, a collection of muscles, bones, but no life. Our body is just a vehicle for life. But without the body we cannot live so we better take care of it. I feel so grateful for my body, so grateful to be alive. I feel my little toes and finger tips. What a miracle.
We all have this gift of life when we are born. We have a full battery. We all have our amount of life energy. His battery was empty. I have to be very mindful of how I spend this life force energy. Our time is limited. Who cares if we achieve this or that. In the end it doesn’t matter, as long as we enjoy our time, love with all our being and live life fully.
I left my guardian angel in the bag of the Korean. (A special heart shaped amulet with a little angel inside that I received from Petra, Gaston’s mom)”
The last week, we contemplated on death while walking and meditating. Three quotes strongly resonate with us.
“The extraordinary thing is that when you do accept death and impermanence, you realize you are not losing anything at all. In fact, you are gaining everything. It’s as if you are losing the clouds, but gaining the sky.”
Sogyal Rinpoche
“This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds. To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance. A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky, rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain.”
Buddha Sakyamuni
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Mighty Manaslu challenges us….
Manaslu, ‘mountain of the soul’ and the 8th heighest mountain in the world awaited us. A 15 day trek (from Trisuli) with very basic facilities, remarkable Tibetan villages, wobbly bridges and tricky trails. Near the end loomed the intimidating Larke Pass (5100 mtr), which was closed due to ice when we started the trek!
“I am fed up with walking, with the cold, with packing my bag every day” said Lau during another freezing evening in a room where the wind blows straight through the stone walls. On this trail there were no heaters, no fires to warm on and harsh conditions. There are moments of complete awe in which we feel alive and free. Other moments we feel cold, tired and fed up with the altitude. We wonder: Why are we doing this? Are we acting out of ego? If we stop are we running away from a valuable challenge? Or on the contrary, if we continue, do we want to proof something? We realized that the choice we make does not matter. It is our intention behind the choice. What do our intuition and inner guide say, instead of the guidebook or our judging minds?
After 3 days of mist and haze, we were rewarded with awesome and clear views of magnificent Manaslu (8163 mtr) and safely crossed the ice-free Larke pass. We now exchanged the solitude and roughness of Manaslu for the busy and comfortable Annapurna region which hosts over 10 times more visitors per year. Instead of resisting the crowds, we open ourselves to meet people from which we need to learn something…
Gaston: “I also realized the last 2 weeks that I have many more fears than I thought. They are subtle, but rooted deeply and prevent me from being fully present. The fear of loss of safety for me and my beloved ones. The fear of not accomplishing the goals I set for myself, the fear of not being accepted by others. I had time to look deeply at these and to gently take care of them. I feel more awareness and freedom now.”
Lau: “Inspired by Eckart Tolle, we took one afternoon to explore our ego-identifications. All the roles, stories and thoughts about ourselves that strengthen our identities and sense of self. We both sometimes think we are these identities and sometimes get lost in them. If for example I think: I am Laurence, I am a yoga teacher, I am a NGO worker, I am a sensitive person etc, then I lose the oppportunity to realize who I really am beyond the roles and thoughts and ideas I hold about myself. Similarly, Gaston explored his identification with his strong ambition, his Dutch roots, the urge to never give up or his spiritual seeker-identity.”
To end this blog, a quote of Krishnamurti really resonates strongly with us here: “I don’t know if you have noticed how few of us look at a sunrise or sunset or the moonlight or the reflection of light on the water. Having lost touch with nature, we naturally tend to develop intellectual capacities. We read a great many books, go to a great many museums and concerts, watch television and have many other entertainments […..]. If you are directly in contact with nature; If you watch the movement of a bird on the wing, see the beauty of every movement of the sky, watch the shadows on the hills or the beauty on the face of another, do you think you will want to go to any museum to look at any picture? “
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Be one with the path
Walking through the forest in the Langtang valley was a very
auspicious experience for me (Lau). Maybe I’m influenced by the
book I’m reading from James Redfield (The 10th prophecy) Looking
around, I felt like plants were radiating light. I walked slowly and
kept repeating to myself “Be one with the path. Be one with the rock.
Be one with the trees.” I was so touched by the acceptance of the
Earth. We can all walk on the Earth and she accepts us without
discrimination.
We arrived in the village of Langtang at the end of Losar, the
traditional Buddhist New Year celebration. We felt privileged to experience
the festival from that close by. The intimate hospitality of people –free tea
and food for everyone- made us feel welcome. Everyone gathered for one
whole day and night with ceremonies, singing and dancing throughout
the night. When we left the next morning at 7:30, the women were still
singing!
The highlight of the Langtang trek is the view of the mountains and
glaciers in Kyanjin gompa. We did an 8 hour trek from there to a lost
valley. The next day, we climbed up Tsergo Ri with mountains 360
degree around us. Watch the video on how we spread love to the
mountains, without discrimination. (Shima means ‘Love’ in Sanskrit)
We closed our Langtang adventure with a hike that recently opened
through authentic Tamang villages near the Tibetan border. One story
that sticks is in the small untouched village of Dalphedi. The world
seemed to be upside down: the children offered us candy and we
received a free tea and donation-based lunch. The lack of
infrastructured allowed us to spontaneously connect as human beings.
Nothing in between us like menus, competition, or expectations.
We are now in Trisuli Bazar. After a rest day and a shave, we are ready to start our journey in the Manaslu and then Annapurna area. About 35 days trekking now to Pokhara.
Our itinerary so far after 48 days of trekking:
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Storm outside, peace inside?
Our last day in Kathmandu was special. We started with a yoga practice on our roof with Kirtan songs in our ears. Then walking meditation around the large stupa, reading two chapters of Krishnamurti, listening to Eckart Tolle and attending an overwhelmingly loud Tibetan buddhist puja in a local monastery. Many different ‘forms’, but in essence they point to the same thing. I feel grateful for this variety of forms. I could instantly apply them to my own challenges as I realized I got a parasite (Giardiasis) that day! With heavy cramps, I had to fast (again) and had to calm my mind. Instantly I was challenged whether I could apply all these teachings to my own suffering. That’s the big question. Reading the book is easy.
(fast forward some days)
It is 5 o’clock and we are sitting in Ganesh Himal lodge in a small mountain village called Tulo syabru after a well-deserved hot shower. I (Lau) smile when reading on the menu that they have ‘Minti big cup’ and ‘Hot Chocklet’. Outside we see the snowpeaks of Langtang. We left 6 days ago by foot from Kathmandu. On the 2nd day I wrote this in my diary: “I watch the sunrise from my bed. What is more beautiful on this earth? Sky is blue-orange-red-purple. Mountain peaks suddenly light up in pink. A new day has come. A new day in the presence of mighty mountains. How lucky are we.”
Gas is reading “Freedom from the known” by Krishnamurti. we reflect on his words. “So you see that you cannot depend on anybody. There is no guide, no teacher, no authority. There is only you - your relationship with others and with the world - there is nothing else.”
We could have spent 5 months in an ashram or temple but instead we are following our own path. Finding truth within ourselves. The last few days revealed how interconnected our mind is with nature. The first 2 days were sunny and bright. We felt happy and joyful. Then, we walked for 2 days through fresh snow, in dense mist, not seeing more than 20 meters. It seemed like the mind was worried, painted in grey colors.
Then one night in a very remote fragile lodge before a big mountain pass, we wake up with violent winds, shaking the tin roof above our head. For several hours we lie awake praying that the roof would not fly away. Four joyful Tibetans started ‘pujas’ - rituals during which you burn special herbs to calm the mountain spirits. It was so hard to remain calm and peaceful inside with this storm outside. I (Gas) slept less than 1 hour and we were doubting to go for the pass that day. What time would clouds roll in? What would the ferocious wind do? We would be among the first this season to cross the pass in this direction. We went into our steady ‘meditation’ up the hill and after 3 hours climbing reached the pass 20 minutes before the thick clouds rolled in. An hour later after struggling through the hip-high snow, we arrived at the holiest lake in Nepal, Gosaikund, where we sang some Kirtan and Buddhist mantras along the frozen lakeside.
From then onwards, a beautiful journey followed. We’ll post more in 3 days!
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Travelling back through time
We are back in the warm and comfortable city life of Kathmandu, enjoying the pastry, cheap peanut butter, the mindful energy of thousands of monks in the area of Bouddhanath.
Our journey back from the high snow peaks of the Solukumbu region to the Middle hills brought with it fresh insights. It was a relief for us to leave the tourist attraction of the Everest region and enjoy the ‘real’ life of people in their village, leading peaceful lifes amongst their goats, growing wheat fields with yellow and white flowers. We never enjoyed a hot shower that much in our life, after 18 days of no washing.
The path we took counted many ups and downs. With every ascent, we enter “the zone”, a meditative space of silence.
“It is over and over the same story,” says Laurence. “When I look at the top of the mountain I get so discouraged. Then, I remember to look down. Next step. And another step. Look max 3 steps ahead. And it is the same in life. I tend to live in the future and sometimes I get caught up and worried. I practice being in the present and the goal I had set - the mountaintop or a future life project- will come effortlessly, in its own time.”
Gaston also had a lot of insights in the uphill zone. “My mind and body need to work closely together. But not driven by will power and drive like I do with rock-climbing. On long treks my mind and body have to be calm and at peace. Not to waste too much energy and advance one gentle step after the other. A great practice of patience and stillness for me (that balances my pita).
95% of the time, Lau walks in front. Awkward at first, I learned through this to pace myself and not to burn myself out on an ascent. We find a common rhythm, coordinate breathing with steps and don’t stop during ascents. Often I feel like we can go on forever. It’s the journey that counts not the destination, I tell myself daily.”
After 30 days, we bumped into the first road. We observed the drastic changed that a simple, dirt road brings to remote areas. Suddenly the charming mud houses are replaced by concrete, half-finished grey buildings. As we traveled by bus to Kathmandu, we perceived people gradually being more and more disconnected from the Earth. Like traveling through time and understanding the journey of humanity in the last century.
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Everest, snowstorms and breathtaking views
Dear friends, after 25 days of trekking we’re back in Namche Bazaar. The last 12 days we spent above 4000 meter. We climbed to Everest Base Camp and four mountain tops over 5000 meter (i.e. Kallar Pattar, Gokyo Ri, Chukung Ri). For the most impressive (Chukung Ri, 5560 mtr), see the video below!
12 days waking up in a room below -10 degrees celsius. 12 days eating rice, potatoes, snickers and an occasional vitamin pill. 12 days with hardly any tourists in this winter season. Liquid water became a luxury! But most importantly, 12 days surrounded by the highest mountains of the world (Everest, Lhotse, Makalu, Cho oyu), incredible landscapes and magical lakes. In particular, an encounter with 9 HImalayan Griffons struck us in awe for 20 minutes.
One experience we will not forget: Close to Everest Base Camp, we got stuck in the highest lodge in Nepal (or the world?) at 5200 mtr due to the strongest snow storm in 7 years. A handful of tourists, including a Canadian suffering from altitude illness and waiting for a helicopter, some Sherpas and worried lodge owners, had to obey the power of nature. Winds of over 100 km/ hour and a pack of snow forced us to stay locked in around a small fire place fueled by local yak dung. The next day we safely descended to the valley where many houses lost their roofs due to the relentless storm. It was scary, a good invitation to practice and reconfirm our deep respect for the mountains. They decide, not you.
7 more day of hiking and we’ll be back in Kathmandu to rest and prepare for the next journey to Langtang region. But before that we’ll have a hot shower!
Some of our insights the last weeks:
- We realized we have a lot to learn from the Sherpa community (the ethnic group). Such honest, hardworking and humble people. Their calmness and interbeing with the mountains have inspired us on a daily basis;
- During the storm, we realized that the strong mind can generate many bad future scenarios. It can dominate the present moment in which things are still OK. Mindfulness helped us to limit these thoughts and remain calm.
- When mild symptoms of Acute Mountain Sickness (AMS) arise, we nurture the love and gratitude for our lungs, heart and red blood cells. We both felt strong and calm even over 5,500 meters.
One song we often sing is of Shimshai called: Be here now! Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DER2bfAcR1k
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From green hills to snowy peaks
Our first two weeks out of Kathmandu were beautiful, cold, tough and extremely rewarding. It started with not a 20hr busride (see last blog), but a 48 hr adventure including roadblocks, army involvement and thousands of stranded Nepali due to local strikes on our route to Tumlingtar in the far east of Nepal.
The 10 day hike from Tumlingtar (410mt) to Namche Bazar (3500 mt) was a challenging walking meditation crossing three high passes and no tourists until the last day. Thank Buddha we brought the Nepali phrasebook!
Trails run trough dense spooky forests, icy passes, open plains and fascinating untouched local villages. The ascents and descents together already exceeded the difference in altitude of going to the peak of Everest from sea level! So we’re warmed up and heading to the sacred Sagarmatha (Everest) tomorrow.
A few insights:
- Focus on the now and one step at the time. Every time we think beyond the day or the week, we lose touch with the beauty around us. One day we ascended 1770 meter and 600 meter descent. We had to focus on one step at a time and not think about the destination.
- Expect nothing! An advice of a Zen Roshi master which is so applicable every day here.
- Nature is talking to us constantly and we have to listen. This became clear when a little bird was showing us the way through a misty and spooky forest;
- Every day we dedicate our mindful steps to someone, especially those that are going through a challenging time. We’ll have enough days for all of you!
Life is every step
Healing in every step
Peace in every step
Freedom in every step
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Bye bye Kathmandu
Off to Tumlingtar tomorrow in the far east. It will likely be our only bus ride this trip. Lonely planet says the ride is only for real masochists given the road conditions on this 20 hour adventure. ‘Normal’ people take a plane. Good thing we’re not normal.
I feel ready to leave the city. First Nepali sentences are flowing out of my mouth. Ready to connect with rural communities. We left all unnecessary weight behind. Still need to cut half off my toothbrush tonight ;). Next possibility to post will take some time, but we’ll have some great stories!
